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I occasionally become so overwhelmed by the incessant multitude of ideas and thoughts surrounding me. It isn’t always easy to act on something when there are so many apparent options. As I sit here I’m looking out the window and being relieved by seeing the green leaves from the trees and the gentle breeze swaying them against a backdrop of blue skies. Each day like this is a blessing, especially here in northern Illinois. It is easy to get distracted because really there is so much around us to take in both with our senses and our internal thoughts and feelings. We create these abstract boundaries separating our ideas for sake of expedience, for sake of accuracy. Yet I find it becomes necessary always to break the mold, we shouldn’t be seeking to exemplify but to innovate. When I write here, it is not the means to an end. Sure I would like to be able to do this for a living, it would be a dream, but to do this with the ends in mind I would lose sight of the real reasons I am here writing this in the now.

While it may not be easy to act I do find this sense of options brings both a responsibility and a choice. Though I am unsure the two really are separable. As we go through existence we are constantly learning, growing and forming ourselves. If you recognize your hand in your own fate you are freeing yourself. We do have influences around us no doubt, and we may have integral parts of ourselves responding to such influences, however from these factors could you readily conclude you would be able to predict the outcome in every instance? I feel it is the duty of everyone who affirms freedom to seek a sense of responsibility for both seeking out truth and forming their own, we seek so we may find what we already know is true on an unconscious and undefined level, before language and after sentience. We find it in different ways and we may be mistaken, yet some say everything is true and everything is false, a lie is a true falsehood and each truth may be subject to alteration with the only exceptions being truths of idealism, concepts unalterable existing in the ultra real world of the intangible. We as growing beings are able to experience a sense of totality only so much as we are willing to entertain all sides of knowledge.

What really drives all this seeking? Why do we desire a sense of meaning in this universe, or this existence? I have thought about this often and it seems the only real answer is we seek to understand because we seek what we love. Love is an ideal, it is the idea of attraction on the broader sense. We all have this force insatiably guiding us, an inner voice we mistake for outside of ourselves. Society surrounds us and thus our inner voice seems strange. Why listen to it when there are voices from those around you using the arguments of authority, of culture, of what works okay for most so should work for you? I’m not saying society is inherently evil or seeking to unify with uniformity, I am only saying it is a disillusionment to rely on it for identity.

We do however need others. We aren’t standalone. I’m only saying it has to start somewhere, and I do not deny there are truly gifted among us. One is forced to acknowledge a seeming dependence on society for food and safety even if they find it overbearing. Yes is may be supposed someone may live off the land alone, yet is not the land a society of its own as well? It may seem like utterly blatant common sense but I think it can be affirmed we are both separate and one simultaneously. Yes the universe is effected from every aspect from the smallest events, yet not every effect is known to every member of the universe and it isn’t knowable in its entirety to us now. We are alone, yet we are never alone. We exist, hosted by our own bodies yet there seems an invisible energy we all share, It may seem esoteric but I believe it is very much real.

Everything we do, everything we believe is all here waiting for us.

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