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If i wish for exclusivity and anonymity would it seem insane to ask for success?

It feels like so much weight and the situations not ideal but adapt I’ll say to myself, get stronger, find another motivation to rise and go on but I feel like my lack of action has been such a mess, like this world moves too fast and doesn’t react to my efforts

I have something I don’t have an exact name for inside myself, not letting me let this get me, keeping faith and optimism, freeing myself from fear

I try to arrange words and meaning here but does anyone hear me? It seems like I am just more layered, diverse and I need longer to sort it all out, like the reassurance those who take the longest to bloom have the most going into them.

but I don’t see it as a start or an end only a journey to find me and what I love and to hit my groove and thrive and feel alive, to explain with action and bring meaning

maybe this doesn’t hit its mark, what if I’ve failed from the start? Just another question I won’t let direct me as I keep reaching and trying to find somewhere I don’t feel invisible

it’s not fame or baseless recognition I want, only some feeling of being wanted when I feel I have so much to offer but its too abstract too thinly spread

but I have wide interests I’ll say, specialization kills the intrigue.. or maybe I am just afraid I’m not good enough or I’ve wasted days to where it feels so late

obviously better late than never but I need to start before I lose myself

If it wasn’t a struggle where would the beauty find its biggest stage?

Look, don’t wait here, it isn’t safe to stagnate yourself with all these options bringing an overload

I need to feel the flow, free myself from myself

If I’m where I am a year from now I’m not me

Existing isn’t enough I need to risk it all

Believe you are strong even if you’re wrong

I know years from now these awkward ramblings will make much more sense, hindsight explaining while I leave these words behind

Existing here with no fear

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