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I’ve been fighting so hard and there’s no one to blame

But you start to feel lame like it’s all the same

These days blending together feel totally insane

And the registers are clacking while the masses are laughing

Forgetting why they were dissatisfied

I got so distracted by my own inner turmoil

Unable to nourish and enrich this fertile soil

Struggling to keep the various metaphorical entrails inside

While maintaining a smile toward those who deride me

Set aside those who confide in me

See me buckling under this weight

Created by holding onto the rope they were dangling from

Over a vast distance away from the summit

Commit to it but don’t lose it

This fire driving and raging

It needs fuel to keep gasping above the water

I won’t let gravity hold me down too hard

I’m not afraid to step out of line

Or to walk right into discomfort

I just need to know where I’m going

My compass stopped working

Like the magnetics somehow were blocked

A signal we all use but don’t see

Just like this rescue mission and backing eluding me

I want to learn everything

Keep things sacred

I want to start something real and not be abandoned here


This dark dusty room with no electricity is no sanctuary

I really did try to create a movement but

Nobody listened and then I stopped hearing myself to some degree

Isolated with this seeping feeling of nothingness

Not even a vast blankness

It seems true nothing is a grinding swirl of something

So disfigured and gears so stalled as to make nothing rational

It’s the illusion brought by seeing too much

It’s the trial you must go through to see the truth

A reminder to stop holding on to a doomed vehicle