Our thirst to exist


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These tattoos are murals to a long lost age

They are our only constants when we constantly move

They let us wear our insides on the out when our outside environment tends to get set by doing things we dont feel like doing

If you explored my room what would you think?

Did any of you really know what it looked like 2 years ago, 4, 5?

Would you feel like you knew me?

Each choice of word carrys with it the electricity of the neurons firing and reminds me subconsciously of its other uses

I’m safe to say I will lose this and by lose I mean stop holding what was never mine


Is this twist a shock or just the outing you needed?


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Flip this script I’m sitting on in your passenger not table just waiting for a faeble to reach these ears its queer you’re here im counting my blessings as you wait as you’re dressing and I’m messing with these angles and I’m singing with these angels and the question and the answer tend to dance like a tendon you see its connective tissue of the souls journey

Is this need a location or are there just the right equations to reach our harmonic ressonnance as we sway and inhale energy filled beams through our skin made of energy filled manifested will?

Wrought of blood becoming a worldview and im talking to you because it’s our destiny but it is anything but destined

Enter worlds through your dreams to start seeing the seams

We are fading out of the illusion and we are becoming more realized only a sight to those who know what’s true

We are all as old as the universe and as young as we feel and if were real we are dying only to become reborn as we are every second

Not the edge we walk


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I dont want this to be like a story

Because I dont want it

To end

I want it slower

I want it faster

When I feel I’m where

I am not, I need flight

When I’m where I am

I need eternal

I need

These days where free verse quietly sinking this ink into disposable fabric these immortal and timeless words of affinity

Absurdity and obscenity

Here’s another line for you

Something to help you

See through, see time

Accelerated and slower

Faster yet slo-mo

Like surrealism through

So honest,

So true

Somewhere out there I am here


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Make this stop

I’m grabbing onto walls

Forgetting where I am

Feels like I could open my eyes back in my old apartment

Why does my brain cling to things and remember them so well

This would make more sense to music but this will have to suffice because the acoustics have gone silent except in my head

I dont know what your answers are

I’m somewhere spanning the distance of lost to sage

Maybe only sages allow themselves to feel lost

Maybe it’s just by nature

I dont know

The room is spinning

I’m not sure

The dark lake


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I thought there was a boat here waiting

We must have gotten here somehow

It’s slightly reassuring you’re here brother but I’m not sure if this is real so I’m not sure if I’m here either

It’s strange how you were once a face I saw each day

Now seen like the acquaintance during school years long gone

Nobody to marvel about the isolating sensation of feeling like you were really back for a second

An attempt to salvage


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I started to think I wouldn’t write unless things weren’t right and the only exceptions were narrow and slight and my mentality became this idea the only way to bring about a sense of beauty was to accept a futile struggle and the blurry distance I see was inevitable and I had to convince myself of its tranquility

Now I’m seeing another starting line, an idea its not clinging to the night to try to stop it and hold the day but more so I’m so absorbed by the thoughts of my mind and I want to achieve more than this and I want to excell and so it’s like a conversation where it ends when it’s meant to end

Let me go, I need to run free


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I build up all this momentum inside myself to talk to people and see the good in them I try my best, but after it runs out I’m just left with the feeling of my face being sore from forcing it into a smile

Oh wont you stay for a while talk and joke, reference the weather and everything that doesnt mean anything to you

If I’m really so special why does everybody leave?

I always have this escape route inside me where I’m able to get out of my head and be the optimistic one still but its hanging by a thread and I dont know what to do so I’m asking you I’m asking you I’m looking for you

I’m not an actor and this isnt a story this is just what it looks like when you all ignore me

I feel like I’m withering and my choices are to get out or die

I might just be inventing something unsolvable

The horizon always extending

Does art only come from suffering?

Why do I even want to live forever?

Maybe it’s because I dont think this all sucks

Maybe I just need the time to take it all in because I’m not just one type

I just wanna go back to age 18, I’m not ready to be here

But it is what it is? I like to say it is what I make it but so much seems beyond my reach. I’m just hoping theres some way I can learn to feel endless but not be endlessly searching

It’s like I know this is not the answer

I’m not trying to set the lights low

Like this ink

All the colors absorbed against all the colors reflected

I’m not losing because this isnt a war

I know the truth

Just this seeming contraddiction is fascinating

I’m mesmerized by each fleeting feeling


Even if I know where enlightenment is

Even if it hurts

Maybe sometimes symbolism becomes too real

Like waking was being born and bed was like death

Yet I wake another day and say I am immortal