Numbers game

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As we walk along

Trying to sway to the beat of music

These imposters draw their guns

Robbing us of all our fun and

Maybe one day you’ll see the life you led in agony

Days are blending, number crunching

Is it beautiful this travesty?

I lift myself to another cycle

Justified apologies

Its all a trade no artificial break away

exceptions leading to more anxiety

Add a shining hope and the removal of fault of destiny

I’m sure I’m not the same

Im not trying to play this game

And I’m not just selfish, write me off don’t believe me

I don’t have all the answers

Do you?

Isoelated

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Being temporarily alone is a beautiful thing

Those moments in solitude

Set aside from the masses of society or family

Facing the whole spectacle from your own vantage

Entirely signature

It is where you find yourself when seeking truth through the fog of the story we invented

You don’t have the safety of numbers but you traded it for the intuition of a visionary

Isolated

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I’ve been fighting so hard and there’s no one to blame

But you start to feel lame like it’s all the same

These days blending together feel totally insane

And the registers are clacking while the masses are laughing

Forgetting why they were dissatisfied

I got so distracted by my own inner turmoil

Unable to nourish and enrich this fertile soil

Struggling to keep the various metaphorical entrails inside

While maintaining a smile toward those who deride me

Set aside those who confide in me

See me buckling under this weight

Created by holding onto the rope they were dangling from

Over a vast distance away from the summit

Commit to it but don’t lose it

This fire driving and raging

It needs fuel to keep gasping above the water

I won’t let gravity hold me down too hard

I’m not afraid to step out of line

Or to walk right into discomfort

I just need to know where I’m going

My compass stopped working

Like the magnetics somehow were blocked

A signal we all use but don’t see

Just like this rescue mission and backing eluding me

I want to learn everything

Keep things sacred

I want to start something real and not be abandoned here

Anymore

This dark dusty room with no electricity is no sanctuary

I really did try to create a movement but

Nobody listened and then I stopped hearing myself to some degree

Isolated with this seeping feeling of nothingness

Not even a vast blankness

It seems true nothing is a grinding swirl of something

So disfigured and gears so stalled as to make nothing rational

It’s the illusion brought by seeing too much

It’s the trial you must go through to see the truth

A reminder to stop holding on to a doomed vehicle

It was so vivid

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Like those allergy drug commercials where the filter is peeled back

A world wet with sun showers through blue skies

Little gasoline rainbows in pooled water

Lemonade, kids skipping, birds singing

Grass was never greener than right there

And if you cared to listen

You’d hear singing from the treetops

A canopy of swaying giants

It felt like ionized air was all you could breath

Damp and charged with static

It feels so alive

So exciting to go about your day

Just happy to collect each moment

As sunlight gently reassures

And you know though it feels like forever

It isn’t

But on this day it’s okay

You’re able to see all those strands of wisdom sometimes hard to swallow when you’re not quite of this world

Another day is on the horizon but for now, this is beautiful and it feels like a home and an adventure somehow in one

Seeing what is easy

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there are times

Where I seem like im not okay

And I am

Then there are the times where I seem like I am

though I am not

It is because we are somehow more suited

Wearing a disguise of what we aren’t, than the skin of what we are

Nobody seems to see my face

Yet I’m holding up a flashlight to it

Like I’m sharing a ghost story

And it’s getting kinda gory and these scenes have spotlights for me

Shuffling through these documents, searching for my eloquence

If you ever

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If you ever find yourself

Seeing things in a new light

Brought across the electromagnetic spectrum

Through cosmic and unseen waves

Allowing you to redefine yourself

Erasing your websteresque notations

Saying

It’s not too late

It wasn’t a waste

I am here, now

Know this:

It wasn’t a waste,

Youre not alone

All those stars shone reaching across the blackness honed

By years of depleted energy, millions of beams

And when they ended they went on forever

Even when they go where we won’t see them

Like us they are immortal

Waves

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Resounding out of the scope of our ability to see

Meanings and intentions drift like spectres

Making themselves known through cloaked means

I think they are things we know but don’t set free

They are the things we want to say

Held back by our inability to apply language

Yet they escape from doors we were unaware of

Though as our awareness grows

And the fog begins to dissolve

A realization might be found

By the knowledge we tried so hard to define

What it was

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As the fragrant damp air coats our surroundings

A wave of thoughtful realizations comes forward

It’s the culmination of a truth forged by honor

A sacred fire made of light and heartbeats

As we walked our voices grew more obvious

Songs of the ones who breath essence into awareness

Our guiding stars to allow our wanderings

Against the blackness of night

When our directions arise without question

Directed by a soul who sees itself

As answers made out of questions

You who sought me without knowing

This essential quality

It brought all the feelings back