The feeling of understanding
This coalescence of ideas from so many confusions
I do so easily lose myself but also find myself too much
Under a microscope of my own design with filters like sepia tinted glass making it kind of an illusion
If your excuse my relaxed style
I realize now I really have been doing my best
Why else would I worry so much about it?
Yeah, maybe I didn’t learn another language yet
But I read the universal ones
I have learned how to access my emotions
Hopefully to make you feel what I feel
It’s not always the worst to realize what you still need to do
Just make sure it’s really what you want
Not some outdated standard
I found myself only seeing what I didn’t do
Mostly technology or a degree
Measurable things
A lot of things I want to do either not started or half done
So much in the idea step with nothing to show except calendar notes urging reminders
You only really stop “wasting” “time” when “you” realize you’ve done your utmost with what you had in you
Embrace the beautiful tragedy of it
But don’t accept it as futile
To make these words and deeds immortal
You must find a way
Through this haze
Recognize what lessons you learned
What value you earned
If you want it, if you don’t accept doing nothing
You’ll navigate these waters
You’ll find shore
It’s a struggle I hate some days but I love it
Because it’s real and it is beautiful